As I get closer to finishing the first draft of this book, my fear and excitement have both doubled. Fear because this will be the first book I've written since the discovery of the tumor. Wondering if my brain has changed dramatically is constant. I wonder if my writing will be any good.
And yet, the words won't stop now.
I fought for so many months for every single word and now the dam has opened. The words are continuous. The story is ever present in my thoughts and dreams.
I'm so excited to get it out there. To release this animal into the wild and see what happens next.
However, I don't think the tumor alone has contributed to the slow progress. It's an entirely different setup from my regular stuff. All my other stories, while often containing elements of real life people, were completely made up.
And then Zack agreed to give me access to his life, thoughts, theories, frustrations, and heart.
I get asked a lot what this story is about. I want to attempt to clarify that if I can.
It is not a biography. While my main character is based upon a very real person, the story is fictional. Some elements are lifted directly from Zack's past. But those are all things you'd learn by reading his blogs. He's very open about his past and his experiences, so if you're hoping for big secrets to be revealed, you'll be disappointed.
This story is the combination of my art and his heart.
The artist's struggled to be honest, the friend's fight to be protective.
When I began this project nearly 3 years ago, I went into it with the naive belief I could remain unobtrusive. I wasn't going to violate the Prime Directive. I would be clinical and unaffected.
It didn't quite work out like that. Very easily Zack ended up being a part of mine and Cap's life.
But I think you'll see what I mean. When the book releases, because it will. If I've done it right, you'll all understand that Zack isn't someone to observe. He's like a tidal wave of ambition and thought. One of the oldest souls I've ever met, wrapped around a heart that's still so very young.
His people know this. The ones he spends his time and energy on—business partners, friends, colleagues. Once Zack hits your life, there's an impact. A shudder and breaking of all the things you held true.
No matter what happens, how conflicted I've found myself over the months, the story that I will share is the absolute best I can do.
I owe him at least that.