I see I haven't written a blog since August. That's embarrassing.
But really not surprising.
I wish I had a reasonable excuse I could hurl out there to alleviate my guilt but I just don't. I guess I've been busy?
Sure, let's go with that.
I mean, I have been busy with work and life and regular Heidi stuff. None of which would be interesting to the general public.
I've been sufficiently distracted and avoiding my laptop for a few weeks (months). It's okay though because it's all part of the process.
When I'm writing a new story I have to do this part. I treat my manuscript like a date that I led on and made them believe it was probably going to be true love but then I dodge its calls and avoid its friends so I don't have to answer any uncomfortable questions like... "Where have you been?" and "What the hell, dude?"
Eventually I'll get lonely in the middle of the night and send a "u up?" text and my story will happily let me back in because it doesn't understand its own value and is ready to be hurt again.
But this time it's different and I'm ready to commit and fall in love.
Or so I'll tell myself.
And I commit for a while.
I pretend like the pretty side manuscript that wants attention isn't as attractive as it seems. I tell my main manuscript that it's my one and only.
I hide the notes and middle of the night conversations on my phone under a fake name like, "Not a new story idea."
(Can any of my writer friends relate?)
I know—I mean, I know that I have to go all in. I'm a serial monogamist. I'm not a side 'script person. I just can't lie that well and when I try, it eats me up inside.
They both deserve my total attention.
So I guess this is me coming to you, my readers, to declare my intention to write this story with my whole heart.
And what better day to do that than Valentine's Day? The day we celebrate love and romance by wearing pink and red hearts and over indulging in chocolate.
(This is a slight digression but I'm not having chocolate today because I'm having a gluten reaction from some unknown source. And this makes me sad. But I hope you're all having chocolate without me.)
I don't know about you, but the timing of this blog seems kind of perfect.
I still don't have a timeline. Or anything to show you. Mostly because it feels incredibly personal at this juncture and I'm not ready to share.
For now it's still mine and I'm getting to know it and where we're going.
Until then, eat some chocolate for me.